British officials, citing worries that singer Chris Brown might pose a danger to British citizens because of his conviction involving the beating of the singer Rihanna, barred him from entering the United Kingdom for concerts this week. When reached for comment, an incredulous Brown exclaimed, "What? It ain't like my name Chris van der Sloot up in here!"
All right, we have a great show tonight: Katie Couric and Ben Roethlisberger are here!
06/08/10
It was recently reported that, on May 22, in what was described as an "intimate ceremony at home," Alanis Morissette married. While not much is known about the groom, sources say that he stands 15 hands high and is hopeful that he and Morissette will spawn a strong contender in time for the running of the 2014 Kentucky Derby.
When asked what he thought of his former girlfriend's new marriage, Dave Coulier declined to comment. When further pressed for a reaction, the former "Full House" star attempted to change the subject by doing a Bullwinkle impression before angrily pantomiming to reporters and telling them to "Cut... it... out..."
All right, we have a great show tonight: Charles Barkley and Weezer are here!
When asked what he thought of his former girlfriend's new marriage, Dave Coulier declined to comment. When further pressed for a reaction, the former "Full House" star attempted to change the subject by doing a Bullwinkle impression before angrily pantomiming to reporters and telling them to "Cut... it... out..."
All right, we have a great show tonight: Charles Barkley and Weezer are here!
06/07/10
A killer whale at SeaWorld Orlando died Sunday while giving birth to a stillborn calf. Given the track record of killer whales at the theme park and, also due to the animal's name, the incident is being investigated as a murder/suicide.
Also in Florida, as oil drifted onto beaches as far east as the Florida Panhandle, a BP official said Saturday that the company was pleased with its operation to funnel the crude. Excited by this development, a local BP supporter said, "Now, if we can just get it from the panhandle into the pan, along with all them fish that have been marinatin' out there, we could fry up some good eatin'."
Beachcomber Ray Midgett, who hunts the Corolla beaches on the Outer Banks of North Carolina almost every day, recently stumbled upon a historical shipwreck. Describing the find, Midgett said, "A discovery like this makes me feel so small in the scope of things. I mean, I don't even really cover a whole lot of ground, what with these little sausage legs of mine and all..."
All right, we have a great show tonight: Tim Robbins and Peter Sarsgaard are here!
Also in Florida, as oil drifted onto beaches as far east as the Florida Panhandle, a BP official said Saturday that the company was pleased with its operation to funnel the crude. Excited by this development, a local BP supporter said, "Now, if we can just get it from the panhandle into the pan, along with all them fish that have been marinatin' out there, we could fry up some good eatin'."
Beachcomber Ray Midgett, who hunts the Corolla beaches on the Outer Banks of North Carolina almost every day, recently stumbled upon a historical shipwreck. Describing the find, Midgett said, "A discovery like this makes me feel so small in the scope of things. I mean, I don't even really cover a whole lot of ground, what with these little sausage legs of mine and all..."
All right, we have a great show tonight: Tim Robbins and Peter Sarsgaard are here!
06/04/10
A recent study indicates that men with low IQs are much more likely than their peers to attempt suicide later in life. On the plus side, at least Dexter Manley can't read this...
All right, we have a great show tonight: Jerry Seinfeld and writer Augusten Burroughs are here!
All right, we have a great show tonight: Jerry Seinfeld and writer Augusten Burroughs are here!
06/03/10
According to reports, the Irish government is asking that Israel not interfere with an Irish-owned ship en route to Gaza to deliver humanitarian cargo. Responding to the request, an Israeli spokesman said, "If this is so important to Ireland, why are we only hearing from people in the Irish government? I mean, we're not asking for a brand new song about it or anything but, at the very least, we could hear the request from Bono himself."
All right, we have a great show tonight: Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson and Neil Young are here!
All right, we have a great show tonight: Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson and Neil Young are here!
06/02/10
CNN reports that a "new flow of oil emerged from BP's damaged undersea well in the Gulf of Mexico on Tuesday evening after a remote-controlled submarine successfully cut into the well's riser pipe." Meanwhile, in language news, "successfully" now means the opposite of what it formerly meant.
Also making headlines, Al and Tipper Gore announced their separation after 40 years together. Responding to the news, an exasperated Bill Clinton said, "What's the big deal? I mean I haven't even been in the same room as my wife since November of 2000..."
All right, we have a great show tonight: Robert Duvall and Big Boi are here!
Also making headlines, Al and Tipper Gore announced their separation after 40 years together. Responding to the news, an exasperated Bill Clinton said, "What's the big deal? I mean I haven't even been in the same room as my wife since November of 2000..."
All right, we have a great show tonight: Robert Duvall and Big Boi are here!
06/01/10
On Saturday, in a shameless and sordid attempt to bolster its alternative readership levels, cnn.com's lead story announced: "BP resumed pumping heavyweight drilling mud..."
Also on Saturday, Thailand's prime minister said that the curfew imposed during anti-government protests had been lifted. The prime minister also noted that although the curfew was no longer in effect, he still expected his countrymen to act responsible and to call him - no matter the time of night - for a ride home, because, as he admonished, "buzzed driving is drunk driving."
All right, we have a great show tonight, in addition to Brad Paisley, we have one of our friends... well, he's just a good friend of ours... Kevin Kline! Kevin Kline!
Also on Saturday, Thailand's prime minister said that the curfew imposed during anti-government protests had been lifted. The prime minister also noted that although the curfew was no longer in effect, he still expected his countrymen to act responsible and to call him - no matter the time of night - for a ride home, because, as he admonished, "buzzed driving is drunk driving."
All right, we have a great show tonight, in addition to Brad Paisley, we have one of our friends... well, he's just a good friend of ours... Kevin Kline! Kevin Kline!
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